The Eyes of an Orphan

I was watching a video today and something that was said struck a chord with me, so I decided I needed to write about it. This woman in the video is an adoptive mom (through foster care and internationally) and she was reflecting on photos of her adopted daughter. She said that when they met their daughter she had the eyes of an orphan and that seeing her daughter's spirit come alive has been incredible.
I know what she means by that. Every single one of the children we've brought into our home have had the same look. Even the newborns. These little kids (and the big ones too) haven't known stability, they've been moved around, they have been treated badly by the adults they innately trusted to care for them, or they are a new baby who is just learning what the world is and they have been taken away from the only voices/noises/environment they've ever known.
Here's the crazy part, I don't notice it at first. I look at them and I see a beautiful child who needs our love and care. I see a beautiful person who is made in the image of God, but who doesn't know that yet. I see the person they are and the person they will become. I see them experience peace and joy and eventually I see them start to trust us. But I don't see the orphan eyes until they've been with us for awhile and I look back at pictures from when they first came to us. And then my heart breaks and leaps for joy all at the same time. My heart breaks because when I see those eyes, the eyes of an orphan, I know the tragedy and pain in their past. My heart leaps for joy because when I look at them sitting next to me or playing, I know the hope and joy that they now possess.
We see so much progress in the children we care for.  I literally see spiritual chains fall of of these children when they step into our home and come under our love/care. But what I didn't truly realize until today is that what I am witnessing is an orphan becoming a son or a daughter. And it isn't just a physical transformation. It is a transformation that will last a lifetime, even if they aren't with us for their entire life. It is a reflection of the invitation the Lord invites us to.
God invites us to know Him as Lord, but also as Father. He looks at people living out of a place of being an orphan, and invites us to become daughters and sons. How incredible is that!? He looks at our eyes, the eyes of an orphan, sees the potential for a change in our identity, and says "I have a better way, become my son/daughter". I am so grateful for that invitation from Him and I am so thankful to be able to live out a calling that allows us to be a reflection of Him to each child who comes into our home. I want to see people of all ages go from people with the eyes of an orphan to people who possess joy, hope, peace, and love that only comes from knowing they are a daughter or son of the most high God.
From an orphan to a son/daughter, what a transformation to witness, be a part of, and experience. There is nothing like it.

Why Foster Care?

I cannot tell you how many times I've been asked this question. And to be honest, sometimes I am the one asking it. Not in an "I don't want to to this anymore" way, but in an "I always want to remember the why because it helps get us through the tough stuff" way.

Foster care is hard. I will not tell anyone it is easy because that would be a lie. But it isn't just hard for the foster family. It is hard for the child who has been taken from everything they've known. It is hard for the birth parent who knows their child is with a stranger, in a strange home, and who has heard horror stories about how terrible foster parents can be to the children placed with them. And yes, it is hard for the foster families who have to change schedules, add appointments, open their hearts to love a child who won't be with them forever, get to a know a new person, and still give their own children attention (all without much notice at all).

So why would anyone want to subject themselves to all of that brokenness, pain, inconvenience, and upheaval? There are many answers to this question, but it all boils down to the fact that it is worth it. Does it always seem worth it in the moment? No. But then something brings you back to your "why". It can be something like a baby crying because they are hungry. Normal right? Not for a baby who has learned that crying doesn't do anything. It can be something like a child hugging you for the first time, weeks after they moved in with you because they realize you are safe. It can be a child's grade going from an E to a C because they can finally concentrate on something other than their safety.

Those things motivate us but God's calling on our life motivates us even more than those things. We are called to foster care which means we are called to love, bring freedom, and show the Father's heart to each child and to each birth family. We are called to be vulnerable and willingly give our hearts over and over again even though our hearts will break every time we say goodbye. It is only because of His love that we can love. It is only because of His faithfulness that we can trust Him to care for them when they aren't a part of our lives anymore. It because of Him and His love for people that we do foster care. He is our "why".

There Are Some Days You'll Never Forget...

April 29, 2014 is a day I will never forget. My husband and I had settled back into being just the two of us after saying goodbye to our first foster placement almost three months prior. I was at a conference for work, and a close friend who worked at a foster care agency texted me. Her message read, “You have two open beds, right?” I quickly replied and let her know that we did. Her answer was “you might be getting a call about some kids, I told DHS to call your licensing worker.”

From that point on, I was unable to focus on anything the conference speaker was saying. I waited for my phone to vibrate. I was watching it like a hawk and holding it in my hand, so I wouldn’t miss that call. Then it rang. I jumped out of my seat and quickly walked into the hallway, my hands shaking. When I answered, the voice on the phone said, “We are trying to find placement for two children. They are twin boys who are 9 weeks old. One of them has a heart condition, takes medication for it, and has in home services. We need placement today. Would you be interested?” I remember wanting to say yes right away--something in my gut said we needed to take those little guys--but I did what I knew I needed to and told her I had to discuss it with my husband before making a decision.

I called my husband. I think it took three calls before he answered. After telling him everything I knew about these little boys, his response was “Twin babies?! Twins?! Ok, let’s do it.” I remember being shocked and excited and a bit scared when I hung up the phone, called the worker, and told her that we would take these sweet boys into our home.

Then she said something that still brings tears to my eyes. She thanked us for saying yes and said that we were their last hope for keeping them together. She said if we had said no to them they would have been split up. That made me sad at that moment, but it breaks my heart even more now because I’ve seen how much they miss each other after being apart for an hour or two. I cannot imagine them being raised separately.

The rest of the day was a whirlwind. I immediately got in my car to make the hour long drive home. I made a mental list of everything we would need, prayed, thought about what they might look like, and called a few people to let them know what was happening. I was about three minutes from home when I got a call from my husband saying that the workers were at our house with the boys.

I walked into our house and these two sweet little beans were there in their car seats. They were so tiny and looked quite frail. They desperately needed their noses wiped and were in clothes that were way too big for their little bodies. As the workers were filling us in on everything, my husband and I each unbuckled one little bundle and held them close.

After the workers left, we got to work cleaning them up and up and getting them settled in. We looked at those boys, and we made them a promise. We told them we would take care of them and love them and keep them safe. We didn’t know how long we would have with them, but that was the promise we would keep for as long as they were with us.

In November of 2015, one of the most bittersweet days I’ve ever experienced arrived. It was the day that the woman who gave birth to those amazing little boys was stripped of all her rights to them. It was the day that a door was opened that gave us the opportunity to make them a permanent part of our family. I remember feeling so many emotions. Our journey up to that point was full of ups and downs, tears, unknowns, successes and failures. And that day I didn’t know how to feel or what to do. I just remember crying a lot. A mixture of sad tears for her, tears of relief for the boys, and tears of happiness for us.

September 9, 2016 is another day I will never forget. That is the day that the boys became our legal sons. In our hearts, they were our sons long before that day. But it was that beautiful day that we walked in a courtroom with two different last names and walked out all sharing the same one.

We are so thankful to be their parents. I cannot talk about our story without giving credit to the One who knit our stories together. We are so thankful to God for giving us the privilege of raising these two amazing little people. We cannot wait to see the plan for their lives unfold. We are so honored to be the ones who get to teach them how to be men of righteousness, lovers of Jesus, and people who carry His glory. Our story isn’t conventional and wasn’t at all what we had planned, but we wouldn’t change any of it because it brought us our sons and made us their forever parents.

This was originally posted as a guest post on Foster the Family's Blog, check out their blog for more stories about foster care/adoption!

Getting to Know the Blalocks!

I figured this would be the best way to kick off my (re) entry into the blogging world, so here's a little bit about our family.

My name is Staci and my husband's name is Christian. We've been married for almost 5 years and have eight kids, but only two live with us. Are you confused yet? My husband and I have been foster parents for  over three years and while we only have two legal children, we consider every child who has come into our home a child of ours. Besides being foster parents, we both work full time. I work with college students who were/are in foster care and Christian works with 18-26 year old students at our local ISD. I enjoy photography, painting, watching movies, and spending time with my family. Christian enjoys reading, music production, playing piano/drums, and hanging out with the family.

The two children that live with us have been a part of our family for all but the first 9 weeks of their lives and we recently adopted them (more about their story later)! Their names are Taye and Trey, they are 3 years old now and they are amazing little people! They want to be a chef/baker (Trey) and a doctor (Taye), I am convinced they will be smarter than me by the time their 7, and we are so grateful to be their parents.

Our desire is to love God first and pour that love into others. We strive to be people of honor, integrity, love, and truth. We want to see His Kingdom come and His will be done more than anything else. We have wall art hanging in our living room that says "Being part of a family means that you will always love and be loved, no matter what." I think that sums up how we feel about family/our life pretty well. And in our minds, family includes birth/biological families to each of our children as well as the children themselves.

Now you know a little bit about our family and what motivates us. More to come, including the story about how our boys came to be our forever sons!

Christian and Taye (above)

Staci and Trey (below)